


Accidentally

by Blink23



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-02-22 15:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2513423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blink23/pseuds/Blink23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benni and Mats accidentally move in together, accidentally date and accidentally raise Julian. Accidentally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Something for the ficathon.

Julian's an accident.

Well, Benni would never call him that – His beautiful baby was a surprise, thank you very much – but the adoption, the relationship with Mats, everything after he was born and Mats became a single father, that probably counts as one.

Julie was conceived in a dirty bathroom at a club in Berlin two days after Mats broke up with the slut he called his boyfriend for two years. It had been Marco's idea to get Mats mind off him: Get everyone together, go out for a weekend of drinking and screwing around in a city where no one really knew them. Berlin had the cheapest train fare on short notice, so they descended on it together, all of them ready for a good time on top of cheering Mats up. 

So Benni had found himself crammed into a booth listening to bad dubstep and throwing down expensive vodka like his life depended on it. Mats was... somewhere, off with someone, and when Manu had stopped shoving his tongue down Christoph's throat to ask where he was over the music, He just shrugged and went back to his drink.

Later on, he would find out the truth, that Mats and Kevin had ran into and gotten shitfaced with some hen party from Frankfurt while at the bar, waiting for beer. One of the bridesmaids had convinced him to come with her to the bathroom and next thing he knew, he was having sex with the woman in a stall. He hadn't even told anyone until they got back that Monday, and then he made everyone swear not to tell Marco, knowing he'd never hear the end of it.

It worked, and everyone had forgotten about the girl and the drunken mess of a weekend that was Berlin. Even more importantly it got Mats to forget about his Ex, and he was able to move on and go back to normal. 

Or at least he was normal until she showed up at his flat, dropping a baby in his car seat down in his living room and telling Mats she couldn't handle it and, no, she didn't want anything to do with it anymore, he's his if he wanted it, he just has to sign the papers in his bag and mail them in to the office on the envelope. 

Of course Benni is the person he calls first. Mats knows he should call his mom, or a lawyer, or someone who will actually help him figure out what the hell he's supposed to do now, but Benni just seems to make the most sense, so he lies Julian down on the floor in front of the TV and calls his best friend.

Benni really doesn't get it at first, the way Mats is demanding that he come over right now, but he does it anyway. He's doesn't know what to expect, but Mats with a baby is not it.

He just stands in the door when he lets himself in, watching Mats with Julian sitting up against his chest on his lap. Mats is reading him one of to books from his bag, not stopping as Benni enters.

“What is that?” 

“A baby.” He turns the page of the book, not even looking up.

“Well I get that,” he says, rolling his eyes as he drops down on the couch, “but who is it?”

“Julian Hummels. Say hi to uncle Benni, Jules.”

Benni can't help but grin when Mats moves his arm like he's waving, but it fades when he realizes what exactly he's said.

“Hummels?”

“Yeah, uh... you remember Berlin, right?”

Benni's stomach drops, “This is her's?”

Mats nods, smiling to himself as he looks at Julian, “Well, he's mine now. She thought she could do it but decided it was too difficult for her. So...”

“It's yours now?”

Mats nods again, pressing a kiss to Julian's head, who's started to suck on his fist. The baby is pretty cute, but Mats is completely enamored and that's what's really adorable.

“Julian? Did she pick that on purpose?”

“She didn't know my middle name so no, it's just a coincidence.”

“So let me get this straight,” Benni says, sitting himself next to the two of them, “This girl shows up, drops of a baby and all his stuff, saying it's yours and she doesn't want him anymore, and you just take him? And are going to keep him?”

“Why wouldn't I?”

“Well, there's the little fact that babies are expensive as hell, take huge amounts of time, and you're doing it alone. As in you're going to have to do everything for the next 18 years? And you know, you don't know if it really is yours?”

“he is mine,” Mats says, like it's a known fact, “I know he is. Don't ask me how, I just do. And I'm done with school in six months. I'm not going into crazy shit that will take me twenty years like you and Marco and Kuba, you know? I'll do fine without doing grad school right away. And as for money... dude, have you seen my trust fund?”

Benni snorts in response, “Really?”

Mats shrugged, giving him his trademark cocky smile, “I sound like an asshole but it's the truth. Honestly though, I feel like I would even if I didn't have the money. It feels right. When else am I going to have to opportunity to have kids anyway?” 

Benni wants to point out that being bisexual means that there's a 50/50 chance he will have to opportunity to have kids, but then Julian starts fussing and Mats turns him around in his arms.

“What's wrong with you, huh? Why are you so cranky?”

“When did you last try feeding him?”

Mats just sort of stares blankly at Benni, making him groan. 

“Well, money clearly doesn't mean you know what you're doing.”

He goes to the baby's bags that she left, sorting through his things until he finds what he needs. Mats sits and watches with the baby as Benni goes to the kitchen and measures out water before popping the bottle into the microwave.

“You might want to get a bottle warmer, but this will do for the time being.”

Mats looks at him like he's speaking Dutch.

“A bottle warmer...?”

“Yes, a bottle warmer, Hummels,” he rolls his eyes, “It plugs into the wall and warms up his milk. It'll heat things more evenly so they'll be less of a risk of burning him, and once he's on milk you shouldn't really microwave it.”

“You know this how?”

Benni shrugs, pulling the bottle out and scooping in the formula before grabbing Julian from Mats and sitting on the sofa to feed him.

“I do have about a million baby cousins. And, you know, I'm going to be a pediatrician in a few years. You pick up on this stuff.”

Mats studies how Benni positions him before giving him his bottle. It doesn't look too difficult, but he watches with undivided attention as Julian sucks down his whole bottle almost instantly. Apparently he was hungry.

“You should help me then, since I'm totally useless. Just for awhile.”

“But how?” He sighs, shifting Julian so he can burp him, “Move in here and take care of him whenever you're in class? Go full on domestic with you?”

Mats eyes light up and Benni shakes his head, “No. Not happening.”

“Why not?”

“Besides the obvious of giving up my normal life, people make fun of us enough as is for being codependent. Moving in and raising a baby together is going to make things a little bit worse, don't you think?”

“But you're so responsible. Who else is supposed to help, Marco?” 

He thought of the bad bleach jobs and selfies that child would be subjected to and winced. He looked down at Julian, his big brown eyes staring at him and his thumb in his mouth making Benni soften. Would it be so bad to help for the first few weeks until Mats figured things out?

“Alright, but just for now, okay? I'm not staying forever.”

 

He moves in after only a few months.

Really, it shouldn't be a surprise. Their class schedules worked out well enough for there to always be someone home with the baby except a few hours on Monday, and there was always a friend or relative that was happy enough to take Julian for them. Otherwise their time was split during the days and nights, though most of the time was taken up by it being the three of them together instead of alone. By the time Julian was on a set schedule with sleeping and Mats didn't really need anyone else there at night he had tried to go back to living at his flat but found that suddenly the situation with his roommates wasn't appealing. 

He didn't want to come home to two guys getting drunk on a Thursday and FIFA tournaments until 3am, he wanted to come home to Mats making dinner and Julian on his play mat in the living room or in his seat in the kitchen. He had never been a big partier but the whole lifestyle of college had suddenly seemed vastly unimportant compared to Julie. He had easily found himself a lot happier when Mats wouldn't give the baby to his mom and they would stay in on Fridays to play with him until bedtime before having a couple of beers and watching a movie.

He decides to broach the subject one night while Mats is drying Julian off from his bath. His lease is up in a month, around Julian's 8 month mark, and he would really like to be around to help. He's just starting to crawl now, and it'll get harder for Mats to just plop him in his seat or leave him on the floor with toys while he does homework or laundry or whatever without someone there to watch him fully. 

Those are all the points that should come out in a calm, reasonable manor, but instead he just blurts out what he's feeling.

“I want to live here with you two.”

Mats looks up from getting Julian's foot in his pajamas to raise and eyebrow at him. “excuse me?”

“I want to live here. It's what's best for Julian, I think. It's easier for me too. Waking up extra early on Tuesdays so you can make it to your morning class sucks.”

Mats closes the tiny snaps up the front of his pajamas before responding, leaving Benni to sit there feeling like an idiot. He sounds desperate and feels awkward and is about to tell him to forget it when Mats looks up at him, grinning.

“That's what you're going with? Really?”

“What do you mean?”

Mats snorts, lifting Julian into his lap. 

“You love us and that's why you want to live with us. Just admit it.”

“...Why would you think that?”

“Because it's the truth,” Mats says bluntly, “You love us. Admit it.”

“I don't- what?” Benni scoffs, “I don't _love_ you, it would just make sense.”

“Can you believe he's trying to lie to us, Jules?”

Julian giggles, smiling up at Mats, who grins down at him. It's so sweet that Benni can feel his resolve breaking.

“See, even the kid won't have it. Just admit you like us better and be done with it.” 

“I want to move in here because I like it better than my old flat and you two are better roommates. Is that good enough?”

“What do you think, Julian?”

Julian just babbles something, too concerned with the stuffed Erwin Benni bought him last time he attended a Schalke match to give Mats a real response. 

“Eh, I guess we could accept that,” Mats winks at him, making Benni roll his eyes, “So when do you want to move your stuff ?”


	2. Chapter 2

Benni takes Julian back home to visit his Mom to Gelsenkirchen the weekend before Mats has a huge paper due. She's been begging to meet the baby after Benni's constant texts and photos and he figures it's the perfect time to do so after Mats had a hysterical freak out on Tuesday. He's been stressed from school ending and the internship he's managed to land at Kicker and taking care of the baby so Benni packs Julian up and makes the the trip up north, hoping a weekend off will do Mats some good.

His mother, unsurprisingly, is in love with Julian the second he's out of the car and into her arms. He's dad seems smitten too, but his mother is absolutely glowing in Julian's presence. They've even set up Benni's old crib in his room and brought out his old toys in preparation, despite the fact that Benni told her a million times she didn't need to. She refuses to listen, though, and next thing he knows Julian's toddling on unsteady feet through the back garden of his parent's house, chasing the ball around with his father like Benni used to.

He takes him to his first Schalke match that Saturday, and he seems to enjoy it even though it's a fight to keep the ear muffs on his head. He spends the whole time babbling along with their chants and clapping after every goal, kicking his little feet from where he's strapped to Benni's chest in his carrier. Benni's friends love it, Ralf even taking his time trying to teach him to say 'tor' and 'Schalke' when they're leaving, everyone buzzing about their victory, and the crowd around them cheers when they hear him scream _TOR!_ at the top of his tiny lungs. He's barely one but he's hopeful that this is a sign, and Benni can't help but stop in the fanshop on their way out to grab him a tiny number 10 kit with his name on the back, along with a few other baby items.

 

They drop him off at Benni's parents before heading out to dinner afterwards, desperate to catch up. With Benni in school in Munich it's hard to see his old friends, and it's nice to be off baby duty for the night, just to drink a few beers with his friends and not have to carry a diaper bag around with him.

“It's funny that Mats was okay with this,” Papa says when they bring up the match, Ralf proudly telling Dennis all about how he's the one teaching the kid the proper ways since he wasn't sitting with them.

“It's just a joke going on between the two of us, really. Though I do hope between me and Roman we can get him to be a Schalker and not love Dortmund.”

“Not that. The fact that he let you take him to his first game. Seems like something a father should do.”

“It's no big deal,” Benni shrugs, “It's not the national team or Dortmund, so he doesn't care.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes, I asked, you moron,” He rolls his eyes and takes a drink of his beer, “He said he was fine with it, just as long as he didn't end up coming home with the half the fanshop. One jersey and a sippy cup seems like a good compromise. You should see the amount of Emma crap we have around the house for him, anyway. Makes me sick every time I look at it.”

“I'd never let my girlfriend do that,” Dennis says with a laugh, “She'd attempt to ploy him with that ugly Hamburg dinosaur and it'd be a big old no.”

“Well it's not like I can say much. He's not my boyfriend and he's not really my kid, so...”

“You sure about that?” Papa asks, smirking, “Because it seems like he is.”

“How is he letting me bring him with me to a match make Mats my boyfriend?”

Ralf stares at him like he's dumb. “You brought him hours away from his father, alone, so that he could hang out with us and your family and he didn't bat an eye. He hasn't met any of us, and for all he knows we're serial killers or something, but trusts you enough to be okay with it. That's what makes you a boyfriend.”

His phone beeps before he can respond, signaling he's got a whatsapp message.

_How's my favorite person?_

He smiles at the sight of it. _I'm fine, Babys with my mom while I'm at dinner. How the paper going?_  
  
“He trusts me, and Manu,” He explains, setting his phone down for his beer, “And it's not like he's never met any of my friends from home. He needed a break, and I took him for an overnight visit. It's not that weird.”  
_  
ha, you think I'm talking about you. And done thank god. I'm actually leaving to meet with Mario and Marco, tho, just wanted to check in. I'll Skype later?_

_Yeah I'll show you all the things I bought Julie, since he's clearly going to become a schalke supporter. Have fun!_

_Asshole. ttyl_  
  
When he looks up from his phone, everyone's staring. “What?”

“You should see your face right now.”

“My face doesn't look any different than normal.”

They all laugh and roll their eyes, and Papa throws his arm around him. “You've got it bad, dude. Admit it.”

“I don't,” Benni shrugs off his arm, “and can we please change the subject now? I am not in love with Mats Hummels.”

They do, but it doesn't mean it goes away. Benni wants to forget the conversation once he gets back to Munich, but for some reason it doesn't happen. It's constantly there, in the back of his head, just waiting for him.

He did have a crush on Mats when he first moved to the city, but who wouldn't? Mats was was a good looking, funny, sweet guy. Mats had a girlfriend then though, and that was something Benni was not going to mess with. The crush faded, anyway, and Mats was now just his best friend.

At least that's what he tells himself. The voice in the back of his head (that sounds quite a lot like Manuel) points out that every person Mats has met since they've lived together Benni has hated, and that he himself has compared guys to Mats before. He always thought it was because Mats was the best person he knew. It had nothing to do with being attracted to him.

For some reason, the voice in the back of his head calling him an idiot doesn't sound like Manu any more.

 

Mats meets a girl at the magazine a few weeks after the trip home. She works covering Spanish football, apparently, and the way Mats talks you'd think she was the most perfect woman to step foot on this planet. 

Benni meets her a few times, usually when they go out in groups with their friends. She always studies him like she can't figure him out, like he's something she should be worried about. It's unnerving to Benni but he tries to ignore it. 

She meets Julian for the first time about a month into their semi-serious dating, when she comes round to Mats's to get him since its closer to the restaurant they're going to. Benni's on the couch going over his notes from his anatomy class with Julian laying against his chest, having his bottle before he goes to bed, half asleep. Mats is running around trying to get ready, much to Benni's amusement. Mats is usually so lazy when it comes to getting ready for this sort of thing, his ego rearing its head and making him insist that he can make anything look good. When she rings the buzzer Mats actually yelps, making Julian sit up and study Mats before deciding his Papa is just being silly and relaxing back against Benni. 

He answers the door after taking a few deep breaths, kissing her on the cheek and introducing them again. 

“I would get up to shake your hand, but this one wouldn't let me.”

“It's fine,” She says, but Benni can tell from her tone she's slightly annoyed. Why, he doesn't know; Julian's almost asleep on him, so it's not like he can move without disrupting him.

“Well I'm just going to put this one to bed and then we can go, alright?”

She nods and Mats hefts Julian up from Benni's lap, walking down the hallway to the nursery. She watches him go before her eyes wander the living room, taking everything in. Benni's pretty sure she's never been here, but she seems way too distracted by the books and random things they've accumulated that dot their bookcases for it to be anything but her ignoring him.

She's beautiful, there's no doubt about it, and is generally sweet on Mats. Something about her still irks Benni, though; there's something not completely pleasant about her smile when she looks at Julian or hears him being discussed, like he's something to be tolerated rather than doted on. Even Mats has mentioned it, the one flaw he'll admit to, though he dismisses it as her just not being used to being with a guy with a baby.

“So... it's nice of you to babysit for us.”

Benni can tell she's not really interested and just trying to be polite, but he humors her anyway, “Considering the situation it's not really babysitting.”

She frowns at him, confused, “what situation?”

“Mats didn't tell you? I live here and have been taking care of Jules with him for the last year.”

She raises her eyebrows at that, “Oh? He never told me. I thought Mats said he owned his own flat?”

“I do.”

Her head snaps back towards the doorway, smile suddenly back on her face, “I just thought you wouldn't have someone living with you if you actually owned it.”

Mats frowns, “No, I have him here to help with Julian, mostly. Been here since day one and all that. Now he just stays because he has no other friends who will tolerate living with him.”

“Nice to know I'm loved and needed.”

“Aw, Benni,” Mats coos, coming close to pinch his cheeks, “You know I'll always need you most.”

Mats is needlessly affectionate, he's always cuddling someone, touching their face or playing with their hair. It shouldn't be a big deal that he's doing this, but Benni can feel his heart stutter in his chest.

“Fuck off and go away.”

Mats just laughs and drops his face, “We'll be back by midnight.”

 

She's acting strange at the restaurant, her tone clipped every time she responds to Mats, and they spend most of it in silence. He wants to ask but doesn't want to create scene in public, so he keeps his mouth shut until they're on their way home.

When they pull up to the curb outside his house he notices the bright lights coming from the third floor.

“Huh, Benni must be still studying, the lights are all still on.”

“Maybe he's waiting up for you,” she says, her voice icy.

“What's wrong with you,” Mats blurts out before he can help himself, somewthing about her tone making him not care if he pisses her off, “You've been acting weird all night.”

“Well how would you feel? I come to get you and I witness you and your baby, and your roommate who just slots right in with it all and practically calls your kid son...”

“You're jealous of Benni?”

“Look,” She says firmly, looking Mats straight in the eye, “I could deal with the kid, even though it's weird-”

“How is Julian weird?”

She rolls her eyes, “You're raising a baby you could've gotten rid of after a one night stand, at 23, alone. Well, not alone, since you have _Benni_ there...”

“I don't get what your deal is... he's my best friend, and he's helping, Julian loves him...”

“Is there something going on with you two?”

Mats jaw dropped. “You're kidding me, right?”

“You're bisexual, your roommate's obviously gay and in love with you, and you're raising a baby together... how am I supposed to feel about that? How am I supposed to know if one day I'll drop by your place and you two will be fucking on the couch?”

“I have a one year old running around and you really think something like that's going to happen?”

“Funny how you choose that to respond to, not the latter half of my statement.”

“Yeah, because Benni's not in love with me, Jesus...”

“He is. You just don't want to deal with it because then you'll have to acknowledge the truth.”

“You know what? I can't even talk to you right now when you're like this,” is all he says, climbing out of the car and makes his way up towards the entrance of hims building.

Julian's sprawled out on the couch when Mats opens the front door, his head resting on a cushion and legs in Benni's lap. There are cartoons muted on tv and he's clinging to his stuffed Erwin doll so tightly his little knuckles are white. 

“He woke up?”

Benni nods, gripping his foot, “He woke up and freaked out. I think it was just a bad dream or something, but he crashed as soon as I brought him out here to sit with me and I didn't feel like risking it happening again so I just let him stay out here.”

Mats just nodded, dropping down on the couch next to Julian's head. 

“How was your date?”

Mats let out a laugh, scrubbing his face with his hand, “I just dodged a bullet.”

Benni winced, “that bad, huh?”

“She lost her mind. I think seeing Julian freaked her out, you know? Made her realize that he's an actual kid and I'm responsible for him, not something that I just sort of take out once in awhile.”

“It's understandable. I mean, I'm sure she understood that you had a kid, but it's another thing to see it and realize that she'll never really be the most important part of your life, despite what she wants.”

“We were only dating for a month Benni. It's not like I was planning our wedding already.”

“But still, you kind of always go into a relationship wondering if this is the one, you know?” Benni pointed out, “And after a month, you start to think about getting serious. She's our age, so she probably got kind of a shock knowing she'll never be yours in that way and that this is how it will always be, since she's probably not used to that many guys being single fathers.”

Mats sighs, relaxing back against the couch. Benni did have a point, but there was still something off. He hated to admit it, but he couldn't get what she said out of his head. It was all her overactive imagination, he was sure of it but it wouldn't leave him alone.

He wasn't in love, he was sure of it, but would it be such a bad thing to be with Benni? He was almost everything Mats usually looked for in a guy, it just happened that this was his best friend. His son loved him like he was a second father. How would being with him be a negative thing, anyway?

In his sleep, Julian began whimper and twitch, in some sort of nightmare. Benni scooped him up before Mats could, soothing him with gentle hands. He almost immediately calmed down, nuzzling in closer to his chest. 

“I guess I'm just destined to be alone and unloved for the rest of my life, since no one can deal with it.”

Benni smiles softly, “Well Jules and I still love you...”

Mats stares at him for a long second, watching as Benni cuddles Julian's sleeping body to his chest. 

“Do you really?”

Benni looks over from fussing over Julian, his eyes wide and ernest. “Of course I do.”

...Well fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally this was going to be three chapters but I'm thinking now it's going to be four or five. Apparently Mats and Benni are too stubborn to acknowledge they're in love in my head and need two chapters for it. Oh well.
> 
> Incase anyone was wondering, [stuffed Erwins do exist.](https://www.s04-shop.de/Artikel/362/11806/Erwin-30cm) They're mildly terrifying though.


	3. Chapter 3

“I think I might be in love with Mats.”

“No shit,” Marco says, rolling his eyes, “What tipped you off, the fact that you're raising a kid together or the fact that you stare at his ass constantly?”

“Marco be nice,” Christoph says, breezing by him with am arm full of mugs, trekking back towards the rack where they store dirty dishes. Why he decided to discuss this while visiting his friends at work of all places, he doesn't know. Thankfully their boss, Phillip, was pretty cool about the whole thing and didn't care who was in the kitchen as long as they stayed out of the way.

“I don't have to be if I don't want to,” Marco says flatly, before turning to the oven to pull out fresh pretzels Philip made and resting them on racks to cool. Manu wandered in, punching in his order to the chefs on the touch screen in the corner, messing up Benni's hair as he waited.

“What are you doing here, I thought you'd have Julian.”

“Mats' Aunt is in town, so he's being spoiled elsewhere.”

“He's finally come to admit to us all that he's in Love with Mats but doesn't know what to do about it.” 

“Ah,” Manuel smirks, “Nice to know you're sick of looking ridiculous.”

“You three look ridiculous,” Benni says defensively, gesturing to their lederhosen, “why are you working at a Bavarian place when none of you are Bavarian?”

“Tourists who don't realize most Germans don't tip,” Christoph says sweetly, filling up beers for his next table, “Me and Manuel got to pay for that summer trip to Greece somehow.”

Marco just shrugged, “I've had a Bavarian in me, if that counts for something.”

Benni groans and Christoph's face goes pink at the thought before scurrying out of the kitchen, narrowly avoiding knocking into Monika as she enters.

“Stop trying to make my boyfriend die of embarrassment asshole.” Manuel says, gabbing his order of weisswurst and Rahmschwammerl before he walks back out into the dining room.

“Can't help that you decided to fuck the toddler, Neuer,” Marco yells after him, refilling Monika's basket of pretzels to sell. 

“You know, you should just tell him,” She says, fixing the basket strap around her neck as she slips it on, “If Poldi hadn't admitted his feelings we'd be miserable, dating other people and there'd be no Louis. Now we're married and happy and we'll be in London in a few months.”

She smiles at him before walking out the kitchen, it turning fake as she leaves to deal with customers. That leaves him with Marco alone, who's prepping more trays for what Mario assumes is Phillip's pretzels (Jesus, no wonder Mario eats so many.)

“I probably sound like an asshole, but ignore her,” he says, for once in his life completely serious, “Me and Mario did the same bullshit you guys did. It's dumb as hell and you'll both end up looking back on it and being amazed at your stupidity, but I'm being completely honest when I say waiting is your best option if you're not exactly sure. If Mario had come to me before I had decided that hey, I was sort of in love with my best friend, I would've freaked the fuck out and ruined things. So if I was you, and I wasn't totally positive, I'd wait. Not long, of course, but when you get that... vibe, felling, whatever, that the timing is right? Go for it.”

“Thanks Marco.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Marco sighs, “Just because I helped you does not mean I won't make fun of you anymore.”

 

He surprisingly listens to Marco. It's sort of hard, if he's honest – He was always raised that honesty was the policy – but Marco is right. There's no use bringing it up when he's not even completely sure that this something serious. The last thing he needs is to screw things up and lose Mats as a friend, or even lose Julian.

The thought settles uncomfortably in his stomach. He knows Mats wouldn't do that to him, but the awkwardness that he would have to endure between the two of them would be terrible and effect how they treat Julian when they're together. He'd rather deny his feelings and wait until Mats figures things out on his own than run the risk of anything happening. 

After all, he's probably in love with Mats Hummels. There are way, way worse situations to be in.

 

They're in the living room eating Chinese take away and watching 101 Dalmatians when Mats realizes it's Benni he wants.

It's a stupid thing, really, because it's nothing out of the ordinary. Benni's sitting on the floor feeding Julian bits of broccoli and chicken and noodles with chopsticks in between bites of his own, his son too distracted by the cartoon puppies on tv to even tear his eyes away look at Benni. A bit of sauce dribbles from the corner of his mouth and Benni kisses it away, chucking at his sloppy eating.

“Naughty, 'Enni! Naughty!” 

Julian's pointing at the screen, where the puppies are being stuffed into a bag by the two dognappers, and Benni laughs. “You tell them Julie.” 

“Go 'way!” 

Julian plops himself in Benni's lap, opening his his mouth so Benni can shovel more chicken in. 

The whole thing is so comfortable, so normal, that it just sort of hits him that he'll never be happy with someone else like he is with Benni. They're a couple of twenty-something males staying in on a Friday night to watch kids movies with a 20 month old in their pajamas and eat take away for god's sake, and still he's happy, because Benni is here with the two of them, and that's all that matters.

“I think I'm in love with you.” 

Benni looks up at him, shocked for a second before his face smoothes into something more like amusement. 

“Enni more!”

“Okay, okay,” He laughs, picking out a noodle, feeding it to Julian, “Do you want to eat off your own plate now?”

“No.”

“Of course,” Benni sighs, giving him more lo mein, “Julian, big boys eat off their own plates.”

Julian shakes his head, using his fingers to pick out a piece of broccoli from the container on the coffee table and shoving it into his mouth. Benni just rolls his eyes and wipes his hand. “Will you use a fork at least please?”

Julian listens this time, grabbing the child-sized fork Benni had for him on the table and stabbing another vegetable and eating it. 

“...Are you seriously going to ignore what I just said?”

“What do you want me to say?” Benni says with a grin, “because all I can think of is 'took you long enough.'”

“I just told my best friend I'm in love with him and all I get is 'took you long enough?' Really?”

“Mats, I realized I was in love with you six months ago, after you dated that girl from the magazine. I talked it all out with Marco and decided it wasn't my place to tell you so I kept quiet. I'd long accepted that I wanted you, okay? I was just waiting for the timing to be right.”

“Marco.” Mats says, like he can't believe his ears, “you decided to keep quiet because of something Marco Reus told you? The guy who convinced Erik going after Chris was a good idea and nearly ruined their friendship?”

“To be fair, he mostly did that so Manuel would move his ass.”

“That doesn't mean anything, we-”

“Papa quiet! Movie on.”

Julian shoots him an annoyed look, not amused by their talking.

“You heard him,” Benni says, and Mats narrows his eyes at him.

“This isn't over.”

 

Julian goes to bed after the movie, Benni tucking him in while Mats cleans up the living room and packing away their leftovers. Benni's waiting for him on the couch when he's done, finally looking somewhat nervous.

“So... are you going to explain why didn't you say anything when you figured this out?”

“I wasn't sure about it,” Benni admits, “I didn't want to mess things up if I didn't know for sure. The last thing I want to do is make everything awkward while we're living together and we have Julian here.”

“Do you really think things would've gone badly?”

Benni looks at him like he's dumb. “Of course you would. You can't honestly tell me that if I would've come around a few months ago, you wouldn't have said no – I have no doubt you'd try to let me down easily,” He said, not letting Mats respond like he was trying to, “and I have no doubt it would've been okay. It doesn't change the fact that it would've made things awkward as all hell for a few months. And if you did eventually decide you wanted to be with me, and I was with someone else, what would that be like?”

“Like you would find someone else,” Mats muttered, cocky smile on his face.

“Are you kidding me? I'd find the most beautiful man available and make you jealous.” 

“I am the most beautiful man available.”

Benni rolls his eyes at Mats, “Trust me, you aren't.”

“Come on, who would be better than me?”

“Well, there is always that architect guy Lars knows. What was his name? Rene? He was stunning.” 

"Until you realize his dick is small and cry yourself to sleep every night knowing you could've been riding mini-Mats instead."

They both broke out into giggles, falling against each other as the tension released.

“What do we do now?”

Benni shrugs, “We figure it out. I don't think things will change much, really.”

“Except the making out. And sex. And we can rent out the third bedroom in the flat now...”

“Why would I want to sleep in your bed?”

“Really? No mentions of make outs? And my bed is super comfortable, thank you.”

“I wouldn't know.”

Mats hesitates for a second before deciding the hell with it, “Would you like to?”

“What?”

“Come on,” he gets up, tugging on Benni's arm, “We're two friends who just realized they're probably in love. We can cuddle, it's not like we're strangers or anything.”

Benni rolls his eyes but follows him anyway, Mats leading him into his bedroom. Benni hasn't been in here in awhile, but it's just as messy as he remembers. It's not dirty by any means, but the clutter is a bit much, and Benni's itching to put everything away. He's definitely going to have to fix this if Mats wants him in his bed.

Then Mats drops his sweatpants and Benni couldn't care less about the stack of unfolded clean clothes on the chair in the corner. He's trying not to look at Mats practically naked, watch him move around the room like it's no big deal that their entire relationship has shifted from friend to something more.

“Are you going to get into bed or what?”

Benni gives his a shaky smile before slipping in next to him, keeping his eyes firmly on the blankets

“Benni...”

Benni looks at him and Mats kisses him softly, just a quick press of lips against his own. 

“Goodnight.”

Benni makes a sound in the back of his throat that he supposes could be taken as goodnight if it didn't sound like a dying chicken. Mats kisses him again before rolling over on his back and closing his eyes.

Waking up isn't any different from any other day. Julian climbs into bed with Mats, cuddling against his back and insisting on him fixing his breakfast. The only response he gets from him about Benni occupying the left side of the bed is a slightly confused ''Enni?' before he's yelling for his eggs.

Nothing does change, or get awkward like Benni fears they will. They have the same routines, same habits. Only now, Benni gets to curl up with Mats, gets to kiss him and hold his hand and do all the dumb things Mats likes to pretend he's too cool for. It's perfect, and they get absolute hell from their friends for it, which, in hindsight, Benni should've expected. 

About three months into dating, Benni looks over at Mats on his side of the bed, cuddled up with Julian as they watch morning cartoons while the three of them have a lie in, and tells him he loves him, with complete and total sincerity. Mats stares at him for a second before grinning and murmuring it back. Even though it's not really romantic or grandiose at all, it somehow manages to be the best thing Benni's ever heard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than usual, but this and the last chapter wouldn't really have worked flow-wise if they were all together. This continues to not be edited by anyone but me and I'm exhausted right now, so I apologize for any mistakes I didn't see!

Julian doesn't realize you can have two daddies until Uncle Chris and Uncle Manuel announce that the nice lady they know is going to have two babies for them, not just one.

He tries to figure it out on his own, but there are just some things he can't seem to get to make sense. He decides to ask Benni about the babies because surely he will know. Benni is after all a doctor, and takes care of all the new babies that his Papa takes him to see when they visit Benni at the hospital. Plus he's able to explain things to him and make it make sense, unlike his Papa who uses words that are too big. His mind made up, he abandons his legos in the living room for the kitchen where Mats and Benni are discussing the twins, tugging on Benni's arm to get his attention.

“How can the babies in her tummy be Uncle Manu's and Christoph's?”

Benni scoops him up into his lap from the floor, letting him get comfortable before he starts to explain, “It's technically only Manuel's, because a baby needs a mommy and a daddy to make it. But then when they're born Manuel and Christoph will sign off to both be daddies and be the ones to take care of them and love them and all of that. Does that make sense?”

Julian nods, thinking for a bit, before asking the question that's been on his mind since he found out he was getting two cousins this afternoon after his Papa picked him up from school.

“Why aren't you my daddy?” Julian asks, pout forming on his lips. Benni looks up at Mats, who just shrugs. Benni's actually kind of surprised it hasn't come up sooner. Julian's pretty smart for his age, not to mention he has a boy with two mothers in his class.

“I haven't adopted you, sweetie.”

“Why?” Julian asks, moving to wrap his arms around Benni's neck, “Why haven't you?”

“I...” He looks at Mats for help, “We never thought about it, really. Your Papa would have to approve. And there's lots of paper work and having to go through the courts... it would take awhile.”

“Papa!” He turned around to look at Mats, “You'd let Benni be my daddy, right?”

“Of course. All he has to do is ask.”

“See!” Julian says, his crossing arms against his chest, “You just have to ask Papa. Ask!”

"Yeah, just ask Ben."

Mats looks so smug that Benni wants to punch him. He probably would, too, if it wasn't for Julian sitting there giving him the saddest puppy dog eyes he can muster.

“Can I please adopt Julian?”

Mats rolls his eyes, “You're already his dad, Benedikt.” 

Julian wraps himself around Benni before pressing a sloppy kiss to his mouth.

“See! Now you're my daddy.”

Julian smiles so brilliantly at the thought that it almost brings tears to Benni's eyes.

Later on Julian insists his new daddy give him his bath and tuck him in. It's not really that big of a deal - Benni's been doing it since he was two months old - but there's something about hearing him murmur 'night night daddy' as he's closing the door that hits him right in the heart.

Mats is waiting for him when he slips into their room, looking a little insecure as Benni gets undressed and ready for bed. 

“We have to be married, you know. They won't let you do anything if we're not.”

“I know,” Benni says, with a shrug, “But if we tell him it's okay and he starts calling me daddy what does it matter? Everyone thinks I'm his other parent anyway.”

“You've got to admit, it feels bad lying though,” he said, “He's pretty innocent in all this, and it's going sting when we tell him that he's not really your kid.”

“What else can we do though?”

“We have to be married for you to adopt him.”

Benni takes a full minute to what exactly he's said. “...and?”

Mats sighs, exasperated, “you know what I'm saying.”

“Fuck off, you don't want to marry me.”

“Oh please. We've been practically married for more than three years. A piece of paper making it easier for Julian to be yours is no big deal. ”

“It's a big step, Mats.”

“What if something happens to me though? There's no way you can have custody of him. I love my parents, I really do, but he would belong with you, Benni.”

“Nothings going to happen to you Mats.”

“You never know,” Mats insists,“You have no idea. It would make sense for everyone involved for us to get married. Why are you fighting me on this?”

Benni feels his resolve weakening. “I don't know,” he sighs, and then grins, “Your proposal was shit?”

Mats smiles, taking his face in his hands to press a series of chaste kisses to his mouth. He kneels on the floor in front of Benni, lacing their fingers together and holding their hands against his chest.

“Benedikt Höwedes,” He says in the most serious voice he can muster, making Benni laugh, “I love you more than 17 out of the 18 teams in the Bundesliga, Lahm's pretzels, and glühwein-”

“You hate glühwein, Mats.”

“-well then I clearly love you more than it, don't I? Anyway, I would love you to me my husband, Civil Partner, whatever, forever and ever, until we're old and you're balding and we have to turn the TV all the way up to hear it and spend all our time complaining about how kids these days don't know anything about football.”

“Why am I the one that's balding?”

“The process has already started, my love,” he says, winking, “I just pretend to I don't see it.”

“Gee thanks. Nice to know you care about my self confidence so much that you make fun of my tragic hairline. I'm really gonna want to marry you now.”

“Benni...” He says softly, all joking gone from his face, “Benni I love you, so, so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want my son to be ours, just like any other kids we might decide to have in the future. I want us to be a family. I want to wake up to you every morning and know that no matter what you'll always be there. Will you marry me?”

“Of course I will,” Benni laughs, feeling like an idiot when his eyes start welling up with tears, “God, I- yes, I will marry you.”

Mats presses kisses wherever he can reach as he pushes Benni back on the bed until he's lying on top of him, his lips not leaving any bit of Benni's skin untouched. Benni just laughs at him and runs his hands through his hair, relishing in the pleasant scratch of Mats's stubble on his neck. 

“Who knew you had it in you to be so sweet, Hummels?” Benni laughs, and Mats nips his neck in retaliation before pushing himself up on his elbows.

“I'm sweet.”

“This from the man who just made fun of me for balding. Good thing I love you anyway.”

“Yeah?” Mats smiles at him, “You're not just lying to get at the Hummels fortune?”

“Mats,” he murmurs, getting misty eyed again, “I love you more than anything.”

Benni beams at him, and it's something Mats doesn't think he'll ever get sick of. “I love you too. God, remind me again why we didn't start dating when we first met?”

“Because we were barely 18, and you didn't even know if you liked boys at that time?”

“I could've been persuaded.”

“We also wouldn't have our baby.”

“...This is true.” Mats leans down to peck him on the lips, “Can I also say how great it is to hear _our_ baby?”

“Our son.” Benni says, smiling softly.

“Our son.” Mats repeats, leaning down for another kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

They get married about three weeks after they tell everyone they're engaged.

It's nothing fancy, since neither of them wanted to deal with the fuss of a big wedding. They're not technically getting married anyway, so going to the courts and getting it done just seems like a better idea. Also, getting it done as soon as possible means they can dive right into the adoption and deal with the long, painful process that will be. Their standard ceremony is the most logical option and best fit for the both of them. 

Only Benni's mother is unimpressed with their logical ceremony.

“I just don't understand why you don't want to do this properly. Think of the wedding you could have if you did...”

“It's us mom. Did you really expect us to have some massive, elaborate wedding?”

“I would expect you to want to celebrate that you plan to spend the rest of your lives together, but that's just me, I guess.”

Benni just rolls his eyes. He doesn't take offense to it, but it is sort of annoying. He knows she's just mad because his sister is planning to elope to Italy to get married and she viewed this as an excuse to have some massive, extravagant wedding with the whole family, and their court house ceremony and low key dinner with their close friends and family wasn't anything like that.

Instead of bringing up that this is his wedding, not her's, and they were going to do it how they wanted, he goes back to fixing his hair.

“You know the more you comb it the more it looks obvious you're covering your bald spot, Benni?”

“Ha ha. You're hilarious,” he rolled his eyes at his sister, who smirks back. She lived to tease him about his hair, and about the fact that he was seriously contemplating a transplant. It seemed not even his wedding day would be enough to stop her.

“I could go get you a wig or something. It's last minute but I'm sure someone in this city could get something to match your hair color.”

He's about to respond when Manuel bounds in, Julian on his hip and the boy's shoes in one hand.

“Apparently, I don't tie them right,” is all he says, handing them off to Benni, “and yes, before you say anything, Mats tried. Only daddy does it right.”

“Oma can do it too,” Julian says, and Benni can see his mother go soft at the title, “You tie them too tight. She and Daddy do it better.”

“Alright then. Come here, you.” She says, taking him from Manuel and setting him on one of the low benches on the side of the room to put them on and tie them.

“You both have to go once you're done, too. It's almost showtime.”

She nods, finishing up Julian's shoelace before tugging at his hand, leading him out of the room and into the hall. His sister follows them, stopping only to press a kiss to his cheek as she leaves, and Benni adjusts his tie one last time before turning to Manuel.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, I figured she'd be driving you crazy,” Manuel shrugs, “though it was Julian suggested we get her out with his shoes.”

“Well, no one could ever say my son isn't smart. Him throwing Oma in there was what did it.”

“Crisis with your mother averted then?”

Benni laughs, “Until she sees Lahm's cake and bemoans the fact that it's only two tiers instead of twelve.”

"And you wondered why me and Chris eloped," Manuel says, throwing an arm around his shoulders, “Come on. Let's go get you married. Or something like it, anyway.”

And just like that, he's a Höwedes-Hummels.

 

The adoption process is pretty straight forward, despite being ridiculously time consuming. They fill out mountains of paperwork for a week straight after they get back from their honeymoon, then there's a ridiculously long wait before they're granted an interview with Child Services for Benni and Mats individually, then a home visit after another ridiculously long wait.

His interview goes terribly, if Benni's honest. Benni's nervous and spends half the conversation saying 'um' as he attempts to think of answers. He's pretty sure the social worker thinks his an idiot and his medical degree is a fake by the time his hour is up.

Mats's, of course, goes perfectly. Bastard.

His interview going badly just puts pressure on Benni when it comes to this home visit. It needs to be perfect, he needs to convince them that this life they built together is happy and healthy and Benni deserves Julian.

He's going over the house a final time, just twenty minutes before their social worker is supposed to show up. He's checked through every room except his old bedroom-turned-Mats's office when he comes across Julian doing something that definitely doesn't fall into the happy and healthy category.

“What did you do?!”

Julian jumps, dropping the marker from his hand. His face is colored various shades of neon, and Benni apparently caught him mid-mustache if the streak of hot pink on his upper lip is anything to go by.

Mats comes to see what the screaming is about, swearing loudly when he sees his face, “he got into the highlighters on my desk.”

“Julian, you know you're not supposed to touch Papa's things!”

Julian's eyes well up and his lower lip starts to tremble as he looks between his fathers and Benni feels like an asshole. The stress of this meeting is getting to him, and for Julian to do this now is the worst possible timing he could have, but he knows he shouldn't scream.

“I-I-I'm s-sorry daddy...”

If that isn't enough to make Benni feel terrible the tears that start quietly streaming down his cheeks would be. 

Mats sighs, picking up Julian and holding him close, “Julian, you know you know you're not supposed to touch anything on Papa's desk,” He said firmly, making him nod and sniffle, “Let's go clean your face, alright?” 

Mats carries him off to the bathroom to wipe down his face. Julian lets out a few more tears, but is otherwise silent, only letting out a whimper when Mats gets a bit rough with wiping away his neon purple eyebrows.

“You know Daddy didn't mean to yell, right?”

Julian nods, not breaking eye contact with his sock covered feet, “I wasn't supposed to so he got mad.”

“Well yes, that's part of it,” Mats sighs, running his fingers through Julian's hair to fix it, “Daddy's nervous, too. This meeting has to go well, so that he can adopt you.”

Julian pouts, “But why wouldn't they let him?”

“Who knows,” Mats shrugs, “Benni gets worked up over nothing sometimes. But you do understand that this has nothing to do with you, right? He is mad at you for doing that, of course, but not that mad.”

“I know. Um, can I go play with my toys now?”

Mats smiles, helping him down off the counter. Julian runs off to his room, while Mats goes back to their bedroom, finding Benni sitting on the bed, looking a little lost.

“Why am I doing this?”

Mats laughs, “You're kidding me, right? You yelled at him for something he knows he's not supposed to do, Benni. Don't get all crazy on me over this.”

“But-”

“But you just got to experience what it's like not to give in when he does something bad,” Mats says, “which, you know, you never do and I'm almost always the bad guy. So thanks, I guess, for making me the good guy for once?”

“I still feel awful.”

“You're a great dad, Benni. And you are his dad, you know that. There's no way this changes anything if they don't approve, which they will.”

“You don't-”

“Someone's here!” Julian shouts, rushing into the room, “He's knocking on the door.”

“We'll be right there, okay? Go pick up your toys.”

Julian nods, going to do as he was told. Benni stood from bed, smoothing his hands on his jeans and looking nervous.

“Come on then,” Mats says, taking his hand, “Time to make you a daddy.”

 

The letter shows up in the mail about three weeks after their meeting, sandwiched between the replacement for Mats's expired credit card and a flyer for Rewe. 

He should wait for Mats, but he's at the office until 6 and Benni knows he won't be able to wait until then, so he tears it open scanning the page for what he desperately wants. 

Their court meeting to finalize everything in front of a judge is next week, but they can reschedule for the week after if they need to.

Benni laughs to himself, suddenly all the tension flooding out of his body.

Julian is his. His baby. After years of bottle feedings and soothing him after nightmares and coaching football games and one really, really awful bout of chicken pox, he's a father. His boy is his.

He goes for his phone in the kitchen, needing to talk to Mats, Manuel, everyone and anyone that knows him.

“Hello?”

“How is my wonderful husband?”

“...Did you get into the liquor cabinet on your day off?”

“No,” He laughed, “I got our letter from the courts today, and, well...”

“Fuck, they approved? I knew they would!” Mats yells, “I told you you were worrying about nothing!”

“I know, I know, you're right I was wrong, et cetera, et cetera. I was just wondering how you'd feel about coming home early?”

Mats laugh is just as shade off filthy, which makes Benni roll his eyes.

“Not that way, porno head-”

“Porno head? What are you, five?”

“-I meant that you could come home so we could go get Julian from school? And then we could tell him together.” 

“Ice cream?”

“It's our son, isn't it?”

“True. I should be able to get out... in an hour or so? Maybe a little later. I have am interview in 10 and you know how longwinded Klopp can get.”

“Not my fault you decided to tell him you were a fan and insisted on talking to him about tactics.”

“Yeah, yeah, one of the best coaches out there loves me, everything is my fault...”

Benni rolls his eyes so hard he wouldn't be surprised if Mats heard it.

“I'll see you in an hour.”

 

They take the U-Bahn to Karlsplatz and walk down from there. 

After picking him up and informing him of the news, Julian has decided that ice cream just isn't enough to celebrate, so they decide on a nice walk around Marienplatz before they go get pizza. The place is packed - Benni forgot that Bayern have a Pokal game - and they dart in between the sea of red jerseys and scarves, laughing when a particularly feisty (or drunk) set of Hamburg fans would start up singing or teasing the home fans. Julian holds Benni's hand tight as he watches them, tugging on his Schalke scarf. One of them notices Julian and yells about it being the wrong shade of blue, little guy, it should be darker, and Julian, ever opinionated about his Schalke, yells back that it's better than his. The man and his buddies just laugh and go on their way.

The crowd thins as they get to the square and Julian's runs forward, dropping Benni's hand to scare away the pigeons in front of the fountain. Mats takes his place, lacing their fingers together tightly, his wedding ring warm against Benni's palm. Benni glaces up at Mats and he smiles, giving his hand a squeeze.

Benni always thought these last few years were an accident, something wonderful he just sort of fell into out of sheer luck, but in that moment he knows he was wrong. This was never an accident, this is how it was always supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, this took me forever, and I'm sorry. Nothing wanted to come out with these two and then I got distracted by Toni's love affair with James and it all went downhill from there.
> 
> I might write one more piece of this, set way way in the future (for them) but as of right now this is done. Thanks for reading, guys.


End file.
